As part of his latest attempt to fix the budget that he himself destroyed, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is planning on following his closing of the Belle Isle Aquarium and Belle Isle Zoo with the closing of the Detroit Historical Museum, soon leaving liquor stores, nail salons and wig shops as the city’s main cultural institutions.

Meanwhile, water department employees continue to be spotted around town napping in their vans, drinking on Belle Isle or joining their Lighting Department counterparts in driving aimlessly around the city from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.; the mayor’s expensive and overstaffed security detail rivals that of a monarch or hip hop mogul; his family continues to infest the city payroll; and his lavish mahogany office took the money that could’ve gone to pay the salaries of a couple more firefighters or cops.

Though it’s possible that private money (read: suburbanites) will keep the museum afloat, the fact that Kwame is closing it demonstrates again his belief that the city doesn’t really need cultural institutions. Or culture. Or residents. Or visitors.

Meanwhile, he’s alloted phantom money to the budget through unspecified increased property tax revenue, as well as millions in union concessions that the unions haven’t actually conceded to. He’s anticipating things that are unlikely to occur. It’s like me forecasting a personal budget and writing “Jan. 30 – will win lottery.”

At the same time, what was so absolutely important only a few years ago – providing the city’s youth with recreation opportunities – has taken a back seat to budgetary incompetence, as Kwame also plans to decimate the city’s recreation department, beginning with the famous Kronk Recreation Center. That’s OK, the kids can run loose in the streets, or play in the houses abandoned by the 1,000 people fleeing the city for the suburbs each month.